1 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:40,160 2 00:00:40,320 --> 00:01:00,320 3 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:20,480 4 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:40,640 5 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:52,192 It's like being dead for 10 seconds, 6 00:01:52,192 --> 00:01:53,850 like everything's just gone. 7 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:34,250 8 00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:41,800 We're in Kalispell, Mt, It's in the 9 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,578 Flathead Valley. It's just really 10 00:02:43,578 --> 00:02:46,424 available. You can go out back and get 11 00:02:46,424 --> 00:02:49,269 a bag of dope, you know, it's just 12 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:52,115 so prevalent here that it's the drug to 13 00:02:52,115 --> 00:02:54,960 do. And it's not just us punk teenagers. 14 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:56,670 A lot of people are doing this. 15 00:03:32,940 --> 00:03:34,170 Came from myself. 16 00:03:35,550 --> 00:03:35,980 Yeah. 17 00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:40,310 Holy. 18 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:42,990 Yeah. 19 00:03:48,950 --> 00:03:51,534 Best feeling in the world. It's just it's 20 00:03:51,534 --> 00:03:54,118 like the biggest head rush in the world. 21 00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:57,025 Like you can't hear for a little bit, you 22 00:03:57,025 --> 00:03:58,640 can't breathe, you can't see. 23 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:04,575 To understand how we could get addicted 24 00:04:04,575 --> 00:04:07,230 to this. But I feel so good right now, 25 00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:09,590 better than any any sober person has ever 26 00:04:09,590 --> 00:04:11,655 felt the whole entire life. That's what 27 00:04:11,655 --> 00:04:12,540 they don't know. 28 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:19,377 Who got this stuff? Following me 29 00:04:19,377 --> 00:04:22,053 Gramming Kenny Realty. How much did 30 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,730 that cost, $50 How much $50? 31 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,630 I think you're good dude. 32 00:04:40,770 --> 00:04:43,715 I I used to be a strong, athletic kid. I 33 00:04:43,715 --> 00:04:46,309 was. I run 34 00:04:46,309 --> 00:04:49,008 the mile now I run a 35 00:04:49,008 --> 00:04:51,706 block. I'm tired. So I have 36 00:04:51,706 --> 00:04:54,404 I have stretch marks on my 37 00:04:54,404 --> 00:04:57,102 back from I lost like 30 38 00:04:57,102 --> 00:04:59,800 lbs. It's it's ********. I'm like. 39 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:04,213 My my muscle tone. It eats 40 00:05:04,213 --> 00:05:06,913 your muscle. But 41 00:05:06,913 --> 00:05:09,870 this all happened in like the first 42 00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:12,828 month if that that it just drastically 43 00:05:12,828 --> 00:05:14,940 affected my body like that. 44 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:20,360 When was the last time you got high? 45 00:05:21,330 --> 00:05:22,540 This afternoon. 46 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:26,792 I purchased a gram and yeah, you 47 00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:29,210 smoked quite a bit of it. 48 00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:32,845 It's not even a high, it's it's an 49 00:05:32,845 --> 00:05:35,344 addiction. This is like $35 worth, which 50 00:05:35,344 --> 00:05:37,842 you can't normally get, but and that'll 51 00:05:37,842 --> 00:05:39,983 get everybody high. For how long 52 00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:42,839 Actually, this will get them one bowl and 53 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:44,980 this will give me one shot. 54 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,496 That's all you can think about. You don't 55 00:05:55,496 --> 00:05:57,243 have any other priorities in life if 56 00:05:57,243 --> 00:05:58,990 you're doing this stuff. You don't have 57 00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:00,737 aspirations to be anything else but a 58 00:06:00,737 --> 00:06:02,983 user, but that's all you end up to be 59 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:04,730 because that's what exactly what it does. 60 00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:06,976 It just makes you want to use more and 61 00:06:06,976 --> 00:06:09,222 more and more. I mean, I was doing fine. 62 00:06:09,222 --> 00:06:12,148 I had a job. I had a really nice truck, 63 00:06:12,148 --> 00:06:14,175 everything. My truck got repoed. I got 64 00:06:14,175 --> 00:06:16,492 kicked out of my apartment and I was 65 00:06:16,492 --> 00:06:18,809 fired, you know, just and it happened so 66 00:06:18,809 --> 00:06:21,415 quick and even you might have a chance to 67 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,153 realize it happened until it's already 68 00:06:23,153 --> 00:06:25,180 there. What are you doing there, Crystal? 69 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,377 I'm putting in the spoon. Why? Because 70 00:06:28,377 --> 00:06:31,003 I'm gonna cook it. I don't even bother 71 00:06:31,003 --> 00:06:33,300 smoking. Yeah. I can't even get high. 72 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,597 Smoking is never the same. Yeah. Yeah. 73 00:06:35,597 --> 00:06:37,894 What are you doing there? Dissolving it. 74 00:06:37,894 --> 00:06:40,519 I was under the impression that that that 75 00:06:40,519 --> 00:06:43,145 that was done to boil the impurities away 76 00:06:43,145 --> 00:06:45,770 or ship. The whole thing is an impurity. 77 00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,403 You take it and take the risks with 78 00:06:50,403 --> 00:06:51,440 whatever the heck happens. 79 00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:58,625 I've got to look in the mirror man, I 80 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,878 can't see. Ohh you're still in the neck 81 00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,512 buddy. I burst 82 00:07:03,512 --> 00:07:06,179 the two veins in my arms before 83 00:07:06,179 --> 00:07:06,560 so. 84 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,645 Biggest names?3 grams, 85 00:07:11,645 --> 00:07:14,626 4 grams a day, big shots, like half 86 00:07:14,626 --> 00:07:17,607 a gram for one shot and then let's 87 00:07:17,607 --> 00:07:19,470 keep going on and on. 88 00:07:21,770 --> 00:07:24,506 I was a perfectly fine person. I was 89 00:07:24,506 --> 00:07:26,899 skipped ahead in school. I joined the 90 00:07:26,899 --> 00:07:28,951 military. I did everything right. First 91 00:07:28,951 --> 00:07:31,687 day I was back in Montana for the 92 00:07:31,687 --> 00:07:34,080 military. First person that I met offered 93 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,816 me and that's when I started. It's a 94 00:07:36,816 --> 00:07:39,683 head rush. I can't even 95 00:07:39,683 --> 00:07:42,260 describe. It's a horrible head rush. 96 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:46,723 Self medication. Basically it's just a 97 00:07:46,723 --> 00:07:48,900 way to hide your feelings. 98 00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:54,365 When I look in the mirror, I 99 00:07:54,365 --> 00:07:56,898 discussed it with myself. I'm ashamed 100 00:07:56,898 --> 00:07:57,320 there's. 101 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,330 I don't know what happened to myself. 102 00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:19,799 Wasn't a druggie in high school or 103 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,273 anything like that, I just happened to be 104 00:08:21,273 --> 00:08:23,115 at a party one time where they had it and 105 00:08:23,115 --> 00:08:24,679 I was willing to try it. Because 106 00:08:24,679 --> 00:08:27,403 everybody else did more of a peer 107 00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:30,305 pressure type deal. Before meth, I 108 00:08:30,305 --> 00:08:33,169 had a ton of friends. I was outgoing, you 109 00:08:33,169 --> 00:08:36,033 know, I ran 6 miles every day. I had 110 00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:38,579 the trust from people. I was very well 111 00:08:38,579 --> 00:08:41,125 liked in my community. Meth took all that 112 00:08:41,125 --> 00:08:42,080 away from me. 113 00:08:51,810 --> 00:08:54,250 Matt takes such control over you and it's 114 00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:56,385 something that your body feels it needs 115 00:08:56,385 --> 00:08:58,825 and you're going to do anything and be 116 00:08:58,825 --> 00:09:00,960 willing to do anything to get it. 117 00:09:02,290 --> 00:09:04,884 I would sleep with men for meth, mainly 118 00:09:04,884 --> 00:09:07,479 my dealers and stuff like that. Or my 119 00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:10,073 boyfriend would put me out there to sleep 120 00:09:10,073 --> 00:09:11,370 with men for meth. 121 00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:21,822 After doing a shot of meth, the main 122 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:24,274 thing to do afterwards was have a hard 123 00:09:24,274 --> 00:09:26,974 sex. Whether it be 124 00:09:26,974 --> 00:09:29,666 them tying you up on the bed 125 00:09:29,666 --> 00:09:32,359 and pouring candle wax over your vaginal 126 00:09:32,359 --> 00:09:35,051 area to put you through pain. The 127 00:09:35,051 --> 00:09:37,744 guys got off on that. You know, 128 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:40,436 using knives to cut you in any 129 00:09:40,436 --> 00:09:43,128 part of your body just to make 130 00:09:43,128 --> 00:09:45,051 little slits, taking bigger objects 131 00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:47,318 towards your vaginal area. Objects that 132 00:09:47,318 --> 00:09:49,110 shouldn't have been there. One instance 133 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,500 is. They used the bat at one point. 134 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:54,880 Baseball bat, Yeah. 135 00:09:58,650 --> 00:09:59,220 Yeah. 136 00:10:03,750 --> 00:10:06,124 When I look at myself in the mirror, you 137 00:10:06,124 --> 00:10:08,235 know, without clothes on and I see those 138 00:10:08,235 --> 00:10:10,345 scars, yes, it, it brings up, it brings 139 00:10:10,345 --> 00:10:12,455 up all the memories, you know, all the 140 00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:14,302 horrific things that were done, all the 141 00:10:14,302 --> 00:10:16,412 horrific things that I agreed to do. It 142 00:10:16,412 --> 00:10:16,940 doesn't happen. 143 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,210 Trying to get your next fix. 144 00:10:28,980 --> 00:10:31,229 There's no shame when it comes to this 145 00:10:31,229 --> 00:10:33,758 stuff. You know, you lose a lot of what 146 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,288 you are as a person. You know pretty much 147 00:10:36,288 --> 00:10:38,256 everybody I know who who's involved with 148 00:10:38,256 --> 00:10:39,942 dope. It's all thieving, lying, lying, 149 00:10:39,942 --> 00:10:41,910 cheating and stealing. That's all it is. 150 00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:56,212 This is my kitchen. As you can 151 00:10:56,212 --> 00:10:59,014 see I don't do it very much 152 00:10:59,014 --> 00:11:01,816 cleaning Ohh this is a just dirty 153 00:11:01,816 --> 00:11:04,618 dishes. That's one of my bicycles and 154 00:11:04,618 --> 00:11:07,459 I have a dog and. There in 155 00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:10,154 the yard for him to run around. And some 156 00:11:10,154 --> 00:11:12,250 days it gets pretty bad. You become 157 00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,346 uncivilized. If my grandma came here and 158 00:11:14,346 --> 00:11:16,442 seeing seeing my house looking like this, 159 00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:17,640 she'd kick my asss. 160 00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:21,924 Now when I when I go to my grandma's 161 00:11:21,924 --> 00:11:24,708 house up in Rocky Boy, I do nothing but 162 00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:27,182 clean and help her cook. And yeah, she 163 00:11:27,182 --> 00:11:28,110 should beat me. 164 00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:32,616 In my eyes, this is a normal life. The 165 00:11:32,616 --> 00:11:35,322 dope game is pretty much the only thing I 166 00:11:35,322 --> 00:11:38,028 know. I've been doing it as long as I 167 00:11:38,028 --> 00:11:41,023 can remember and. I, I don't know very 168 00:11:41,023 --> 00:11:42,574 many other people when they're 11-12 169 00:11:42,574 --> 00:11:44,384 years old rolling around with a pocket 170 00:11:44,384 --> 00:11:46,969 full of doping. As much money as I **** I 171 00:11:46,969 --> 00:11:49,296 wish I could still be 12 years old and 172 00:11:49,296 --> 00:11:51,881 have the money and dope I had now. Like I 173 00:11:51,881 --> 00:11:54,466 I know it's all going to come to an end 174 00:11:54,466 --> 00:11:56,535 and it's all going to come crashing down 175 00:11:56,535 --> 00:11:59,120 and I'm going to be going to jail for it. 176 00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:04,914 They think when you get like this, you 177 00:12:04,914 --> 00:12:06,877 think that's the only way of life there 178 00:12:06,877 --> 00:12:08,350 is out there and it's not. 179 00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,645 It's not a you don't exist. I lived in my 180 00:12:12,645 --> 00:12:14,962 bedroom for the past six years. You don't 181 00:12:14,962 --> 00:12:17,870 exist. You really don't. Shut 182 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:20,790 yourself out. They always came 183 00:12:20,790 --> 00:12:23,650 first and. My girls didn't 184 00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:24,730 mean nothing to me. 185 00:12:26,450 --> 00:12:29,035 They don't want more. Pretty much after 186 00:12:29,035 --> 00:12:31,988 her kids got taken away from her, she 187 00:12:31,988 --> 00:12:34,942 just kind of went on a downward spiral. 188 00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:37,896 And then it's like ever since he got 189 00:12:37,896 --> 00:12:40,849 taken away, it's been 1 big haze for 190 00:12:40,849 --> 00:12:43,803 just one. One big long stretch of just 191 00:12:43,803 --> 00:12:45,280 getting high and constantly. 192 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,047 They were just, they wanted a mom, and 193 00:12:49,047 --> 00:12:51,839 that wasn't the mom. I mean, 194 00:12:51,839 --> 00:12:54,578 I I want to have a normal life with 195 00:12:54,578 --> 00:12:57,317 Glenn, but it's hard to get out of that 196 00:12:57,317 --> 00:12:59,447 life because it's easy money. It's some 197 00:12:59,447 --> 00:13:02,127 get rich quick. Some 198 00:13:02,127 --> 00:13:04,985 some big use right here which like to 199 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,843 put your drugs in these to sell them. 200 00:13:07,843 --> 00:13:10,701 How much how much stuff do you move? 201 00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:12,130 I like to use. 202 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,921 This right here is a locker. This is what 203 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,400 you put your mouth in. 204 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,896 There's some meth. Crystal meth. Devil's 205 00:13:23,896 --> 00:13:26,621 dandruff is what I like to call 206 00:13:26,621 --> 00:13:27,010 it. 207 00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,972 That was a $25.00 that just smoked up 208 00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:44,715 right there in about 5 or six hits. 209 00:13:44,715 --> 00:13:47,114 It was pretty much worthless because now 210 00:13:47,114 --> 00:13:49,881 it's just. So gone and now 211 00:13:49,881 --> 00:13:52,768 I want more. And 212 00:13:52,768 --> 00:13:55,544 it's just pure evil and I hate myself for 213 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:58,011 just doing it right now, but that ain't 214 00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:00,170 going to stop me from doing more. 215 00:14:01,990 --> 00:14:04,090 If I remember who gave it to me the first 216 00:14:04,090 --> 00:14:06,190 time I did it, I I probably want to shoot 217 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:06,400 him. 218 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,345 Very first time that they used 219 00:14:23,345 --> 00:14:25,600 methamphetamine, they're in big trouble. 220 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:30,560 Methamphetamine Jazzes. 221 00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,914 The nervous system, this is everything is 222 00:14:33,914 --> 00:14:36,498 speed up heart rate, blood pressure, you 223 00:14:36,498 --> 00:14:39,082 know that everybody knows the term fight 224 00:14:39,082 --> 00:14:41,877 or flight. This the 225 00:14:41,877 --> 00:14:44,070 first time I take methamphetamine. I can 226 00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:46,789 have a stroke. Or it can 227 00:14:46,789 --> 00:14:49,615 have a heart attack. Clearly, if you're a 228 00:14:49,615 --> 00:14:51,381 middle-aged person using meth, you're 229 00:14:51,381 --> 00:14:53,853 just like Russian roulette. And if you're 230 00:14:53,853 --> 00:14:56,325 using big time stimulants that can even 231 00:14:56,325 --> 00:14:58,444 kill a young, healthy college athlete. 232 00:14:58,444 --> 00:15:00,563 For people who smoke or inject 233 00:15:00,563 --> 00:15:02,682 methamphetamine, it's going to hit the 234 00:15:02,682 --> 00:15:04,801 brain very quickly, within seconds. It's 235 00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:07,340 an ecstasy, unlike. Any other drug that 236 00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,078 works on the neurotransmitter dopamine 237 00:15:09,078 --> 00:15:11,511 causes dopamine to just dump into the 238 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,597 synapse, start charging all the cells 239 00:15:13,597 --> 00:15:16,030 around it, and it causes an incredibly 240 00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:18,463 fast euphoric rush. This is very much 241 00:15:18,463 --> 00:15:20,896 like the euphoria that people get with 242 00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:23,329 orgasms. In addition to dropping all of 243 00:15:23,329 --> 00:15:26,110 that dopamine out, it then gets into the. 244 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,109 Down and explodes the vesicles that carry 245 00:15:28,109 --> 00:15:29,746 dopamine. So eventually then any pleasure 246 00:15:29,746 --> 00:15:31,928 that a person feels who's using the drug, 247 00:15:31,928 --> 00:15:33,837 they're only getting it from the drug. 248 00:15:33,837 --> 00:15:36,019 Their body ceases to be able to create 249 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:38,908 that sense of pleasure. People want that 250 00:15:38,908 --> 00:15:41,163 feeling again. People often are self 251 00:15:41,163 --> 00:15:43,794 medicating, trying to get out of their 252 00:15:43,794 --> 00:15:44,170 depression. 253 00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:53,001 I'm going to Chippewa Curry from Rocky 254 00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:53,650 Boy reservation. 255 00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:04,380 Everything is totally different up there. 256 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,420 There's just some traditions that you 257 00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:09,684 stick to, like elders and stuff. Like 258 00:16:09,684 --> 00:16:11,948 people respect the elders a lot, you 259 00:16:11,948 --> 00:16:14,536 know, and stuff like that. But most of 260 00:16:14,536 --> 00:16:16,153 them, you know, ain't traditional 261 00:16:16,153 --> 00:16:18,093 Indians. They don't stick to the 262 00:16:18,093 --> 00:16:18,740 traditional ways. 263 00:16:23,780 --> 00:16:26,680 In the 30 years that I've 264 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,580 been teaching, we've had problems with 265 00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:32,400 drinking using pot. But 266 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,950 I've never seen it escalate 267 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:36,990 in such a hurry. 268 00:16:38,370 --> 00:16:41,180 Meth is more dangerous. It's so 269 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,989 easy to get on the reservation 270 00:16:43,989 --> 00:16:46,799 and it's cheap. Young kids can 271 00:16:46,799 --> 00:16:49,608 get their hands on it. I'm 272 00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,418 afraid we're going to have a 273 00:16:52,418 --> 00:16:55,227 tribe full of zombies. It's just, 274 00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:57,100 it's just so sad. 275 00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:04,471 Methamphetamine is an epidemic on 276 00:17:04,471 --> 00:17:05,560 this reservation. 277 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:11,353 I don't think the Crow Nation can 278 00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:14,315 stand by and lose a generation of 279 00:17:14,315 --> 00:17:16,431 its young people. This methamphetamine 280 00:17:16,431 --> 00:17:19,394 use is killing us. We have to 281 00:17:19,394 --> 00:17:22,357 realize that. Our kids have to realize 282 00:17:22,357 --> 00:17:22,780 it. 283 00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:28,910 You know, I look, I look back 284 00:17:28,910 --> 00:17:31,560 and history and I look at, you 285 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,209 know, how our tribe has been put 286 00:17:34,209 --> 00:17:36,481 on reservations and smallpox and things 287 00:17:36,481 --> 00:17:39,130 like that, but it didn't wipe out 288 00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:41,780 our reservation. This has been the worst. 289 00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,051 And just experiencing it personally, I 290 00:17:44,051 --> 00:17:47,009 mean. I know how 291 00:17:47,009 --> 00:17:49,924 terrible it is. I know how hard 292 00:17:49,924 --> 00:17:52,839 it is to kick the habit. My 293 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,754 biggest regret from using from using math 294 00:17:55,754 --> 00:17:57,420 has been what I've. 295 00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:01,591 What I've done to my children and to my 296 00:18:01,591 --> 00:18:04,081 family. When my mother was on meth, it 297 00:18:04,081 --> 00:18:06,883 was tough trying to take care of my two 298 00:18:06,883 --> 00:18:09,061 brothers, me and him. When we were 299 00:18:09,061 --> 00:18:11,863 younger, my mom and dad would leave us at 300 00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:14,041 the mall from the morning till the 301 00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:16,220 evening till closing just so they could. 302 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,360 Do their do math. 303 00:18:22,670 --> 00:18:24,830 There's one thing I want you to know. 304 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,508 You know, I had one son 305 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,456 four years ago, February 17th, I 306 00:18:31,456 --> 00:18:34,249 lost my son. He 307 00:18:34,249 --> 00:18:37,122 got in a real bad car accident, but 308 00:18:37,122 --> 00:18:39,276 it was because of methamphetamine use. 309 00:18:39,276 --> 00:18:42,149 And that hurts me. You know, I don't 310 00:18:42,149 --> 00:18:45,022 want other parents to go through what I 311 00:18:45,022 --> 00:18:47,535 go through every day thinking about the 312 00:18:47,535 --> 00:18:49,690 son I had, my only son. 313 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:56,014 I should have been more close to him. I 314 00:18:56,014 --> 00:18:58,169 should have said, son, I love you, Let's 315 00:18:58,169 --> 00:19:00,324 get together and let's take care of this 316 00:19:00,324 --> 00:19:01,940 problem together. I didn't do that. 317 00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:04,760 I should have done that. 318 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,202 People need to know what their kids are 319 00:19:09,202 --> 00:19:12,079 doing. They need to be involved 320 00:19:12,079 --> 00:19:13,080 with their kids. 321 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,395 I I really could not imagine a world 322 00:19:18,395 --> 00:19:20,700 without our tribe in it because um. 323 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,170 Initially. 324 00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:31,340 I'm sorry. 325 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:46,480 I guess I I think about my children. 326 00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:51,830 And their children's children. 327 00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:53,680 It is you. 328 00:19:55,730 --> 00:19:56,660 24. 329 00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:01,216 Come on, Targee, Margy 330 00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:03,733 Cheese, Gigi, Check. I'm 331 00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:06,249 hoping that Native Americans 332 00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:08,765 and the white society 333 00:20:08,765 --> 00:20:11,281 in the state of 334 00:20:11,281 --> 00:20:13,798 Montana, if they could 335 00:20:13,798 --> 00:20:16,314 just come together and 336 00:20:16,314 --> 00:20:18,830 work together to save. 337 00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:21,682 All our children in getting 338 00:20:21,682 --> 00:20:24,424 rid of this plague that's 339 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:27,166 upon us, maybe we can. 340 00:20:27,166 --> 00:20:29,360 We can beat it. 341 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,928 Ohh I I lied to my 342 00:20:43,928 --> 00:20:46,736 mom. I I spend way too 343 00:20:46,736 --> 00:20:49,544 much money. I do things I 344 00:20:49,544 --> 00:20:50,480 shouldn't do. 345 00:20:55,820 --> 00:20:58,202 Eventually you just do things to get 346 00:20:58,202 --> 00:21:00,923 money and this is where all your money 347 00:21:00,923 --> 00:21:03,645 goes towards. Like I could have so much 348 00:21:03,645 --> 00:21:06,027 stuff right now. It's them amounts of 349 00:21:06,027 --> 00:21:08,749 money I spend on drugs and people you 350 00:21:08,749 --> 00:21:10,450 owe and people I owe. 351 00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:14,379 I've heard a lot of things about people 352 00:21:14,379 --> 00:21:17,370 doing degrading them. Embarrassing 353 00:21:17,370 --> 00:21:18,030 things. 354 00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:25,968 I never did anything sexual for drugs, 355 00:21:25,968 --> 00:21:28,525 but I watched. I watched other girls do 356 00:21:28,525 --> 00:21:31,402 it all the time. They would or or guys 357 00:21:31,402 --> 00:21:33,320 mostly because one of the biggest. 358 00:21:34,090 --> 00:21:35,682 Connections around here just happens to 359 00:21:35,682 --> 00:21:38,069 be a gay pedophile. So if you're a young 360 00:21:38,069 --> 00:21:40,722 boy and you want to get high, go over to 361 00:21:40,722 --> 00:21:42,845 his house. I don't know, maybe he'll just 362 00:21:42,845 --> 00:21:45,232 sit there and he'll **** *** in front of 363 00:21:45,232 --> 00:21:47,620 you and he'll give you a ball for it. 364 00:21:55,070 --> 00:21:57,083 I was playing with my 10 month old nephew 365 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,320 down on the floor and I had a couple of 366 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:01,333 eight balls of meth in my pocket and when 367 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,346 I left I got back into town and I 368 00:22:03,346 --> 00:22:05,136 realized that I was missing one of them 369 00:22:05,136 --> 00:22:07,149 and all I could worry about was where my 370 00:22:07,149 --> 00:22:09,924 drugs were at. At that point 371 00:22:09,924 --> 00:22:12,302 I went back to the house to see if I 372 00:22:12,302 --> 00:22:14,442 could find the 8 ball of meth laying on 373 00:22:14,442 --> 00:22:15,869 the floor somewhere without my mom 374 00:22:15,869 --> 00:22:18,010 noticing and when I got there she told me 375 00:22:18,010 --> 00:22:20,150 to leave and the cops were on their way 376 00:22:20,150 --> 00:22:22,053 because my nephew had hung up, picked it 377 00:22:22,053 --> 00:22:23,480 up and had almost swallowed it. 378 00:22:24,830 --> 00:22:27,094 I needed to get high, so I was robbing a 379 00:22:27,094 --> 00:22:29,470 bunch of people's houses. And this guy 380 00:22:29,470 --> 00:22:31,738 woke up when I was in his house and I'd 381 00:22:31,738 --> 00:22:33,325 smashed his face. God had stitches from 382 00:22:33,325 --> 00:22:35,366 one side of his face down to the other 383 00:22:35,366 --> 00:22:38,181 side of his face and. All I was 384 00:22:38,181 --> 00:22:39,844 worried about was getting high and 385 00:22:39,844 --> 00:22:42,060 getting away. I just see prison for him. 386 00:22:44,890 --> 00:22:47,370 The stunts he's been pulled into that. I 387 00:22:47,370 --> 00:22:49,540 mean, I I'm afraid to come home 388 00:22:49,540 --> 00:22:52,020 sometimes. Right there on my head. I have 389 00:22:52,020 --> 00:22:54,500 my head cracked open with a baseball bat. 390 00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,670 Somebody thought I had some dope about 391 00:22:56,670 --> 00:22:59,460 people. I can come down and shoot me just 392 00:22:59,460 --> 00:23:01,320 because he's been ripping people off 393 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,180 methods. We made him a demon. 394 00:23:04,180 --> 00:23:06,637 I'll do just about anything for drugs 395 00:23:06,637 --> 00:23:09,444 like still from my own dad, my brother 396 00:23:09,444 --> 00:23:12,252 and I'm. I'm glad I don't have no 397 00:23:12,252 --> 00:23:14,708 kids because I'd probably robbed them of 398 00:23:14,708 --> 00:23:15,410 their futures. 399 00:23:17,860 --> 00:23:20,591 I've shown myself if I had to not. Not to 400 00:23:20,591 --> 00:23:23,470 a guy though. Why 401 00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:24,590 is he still alive? 402 00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:28,060 What they call them weasel. 403 00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:32,404 He is just a crafty sly and he just 404 00:23:32,404 --> 00:23:34,654 has dodged the bullet. It's going to 405 00:23:34,654 --> 00:23:35,940 catch up with him. 406 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,276 Our congressmen have identified the 407 00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:04,959 Cascade County as a high intensity drug 408 00:24:04,959 --> 00:24:07,258 trafficking area. We worked out 24/7. 409 00:24:07,258 --> 00:24:09,941 That's all we do right now with 410 00:24:09,941 --> 00:24:12,624 the emphasis on math because it's our 411 00:24:12,624 --> 00:24:13,390 biggest problem. 412 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:19,302 Last week we did a series of drug busts. 413 00:24:19,302 --> 00:24:22,024 It's going to be CIA buy at the Lido. 414 00:24:22,024 --> 00:24:24,141 Here's a picture of our friendly. There 415 00:24:24,141 --> 00:24:26,864 you go there, tough guy. A couple who was 416 00:24:26,864 --> 00:24:29,586 in a motel room and had some meth or 417 00:24:29,586 --> 00:24:31,703 narcotics in their room. We located some 418 00:24:31,703 --> 00:24:32,913 marijuana, cash, methamphetamine, scales, 419 00:24:32,913 --> 00:24:35,030 some paraphernalia. Can you hear me now? 420 00:24:36,110 --> 00:24:38,342 So they were selling out of their room. 421 00:24:38,342 --> 00:24:41,132 We gave them the option not to go to jail 422 00:24:41,132 --> 00:24:43,365 today and to help law enforcement out, we 423 00:24:43,365 --> 00:24:45,597 had them call some of their suppliers and 424 00:24:45,597 --> 00:24:47,550 also some of their customers. Well, let 425 00:24:47,550 --> 00:24:49,782 me, let me, let's call Chris, just play 426 00:24:49,782 --> 00:24:52,749 the game. Wedding or get anything? 427 00:24:52,749 --> 00:24:55,697 No. Do you know where to get any dope? He 428 00:24:55,697 --> 00:24:58,055 said about 15 minutes we would take him 429 00:24:58,055 --> 00:24:58,350 down. 430 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:02,890 Ralph. 431 00:25:06,310 --> 00:25:08,480 On your stomach. All over your stomach. 432 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,570 Ohh. 433 00:25:20,020 --> 00:25:22,192 You called us up and ordered up dope. You 434 00:25:22,192 --> 00:25:24,123 got caught. Game over. You know you had 435 00:25:24,123 --> 00:25:26,295 meth on you. You know you came and tried 436 00:25:26,295 --> 00:25:27,260 to buy dope, OK? 437 00:25:32,930 --> 00:25:34,714 But they really pushed the dude, you 438 00:25:34,714 --> 00:25:36,752 really got to help yourself out here. OK? 439 00:25:36,752 --> 00:25:38,790 I want you to engage in some conversation 440 00:25:38,790 --> 00:25:40,960 with them. 1. 441 00:25:42,650 --> 00:25:44,273 On the ground, but turn off please. 442 00:25:44,273 --> 00:25:45,200 Saucer on your stomach. 443 00:25:58,210 --> 00:26:00,480 Paula was kind of she's obviously an 444 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,073 addict, but she was wrong place at the 445 00:26:03,073 --> 00:26:05,667 wrong time. The night of our bust rested 446 00:26:05,667 --> 00:26:08,055 me, handcuffed me. And I gave them all 447 00:26:08,055 --> 00:26:10,484 the stuff that I had on me. Who else is 448 00:26:10,484 --> 00:26:12,428 slinging dope in my town? Whole town in 449 00:26:12,428 --> 00:26:14,372 Great Falls is slinging dope. But I can't 450 00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:16,315 arrest the whole town except right out of 451 00:26:16,315 --> 00:26:18,016 a complaint against the town of Great 452 00:26:18,016 --> 00:26:19,717 Falls. I'm pretty much you damn near 453 00:26:19,717 --> 00:26:21,417 arrested half the people that are the 454 00:26:21,417 --> 00:26:23,361 main hookups in town. OK, well who's the 455 00:26:23,361 --> 00:26:24,090 other half then? 456 00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:28,466 Local law enforcement alone will not stop 457 00:26:28,466 --> 00:26:30,913 the meth problem in Montana. We can 458 00:26:30,913 --> 00:26:33,709 barely make a dent in it without the 459 00:26:33,709 --> 00:26:36,155 public's help. And again, going after the 460 00:26:36,155 --> 00:26:38,951 demand for meth, it's going to be a 461 00:26:38,951 --> 00:26:39,650 continuous problem. 462 00:27:02,770 --> 00:27:05,036 My mom helped me get into another 463 00:27:05,036 --> 00:27:07,625 apartment. She got me a car. I borrowed 464 00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:10,214 so much money from her, couldn't keep my 465 00:27:10,214 --> 00:27:13,127 own jobs, and my car broke down. I got 466 00:27:13,127 --> 00:27:15,393 evicted. I realized my little brother was 467 00:27:15,393 --> 00:27:18,313 watching me. Go from, you 468 00:27:18,313 --> 00:27:21,201 know, 190 lbs to 150 in a matter 469 00:27:21,201 --> 00:27:23,728 of months. Never seemed to sleep. Gone 470 00:27:23,728 --> 00:27:26,616 for weeks at a time. Just appear for 471 00:27:26,616 --> 00:27:29,532 a little bit to. I don't know, 472 00:27:29,532 --> 00:27:31,005 maybe get food or get something else out 473 00:27:31,005 --> 00:27:33,791 of the house I could pawn?My 474 00:27:33,791 --> 00:27:36,321 parents made me give my dogs away. I only 475 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,445 have nothing, no responsibility 476 00:27:37,445 --> 00:27:40,400 whatsoever. I don't do anything. Just. 477 00:27:42,180 --> 00:27:43,670 Float by I suppose. 478 00:27:49,550 --> 00:27:52,114 It's not just teenagers, 479 00:27:52,114 --> 00:27:54,678 it's not just your 480 00:27:54,678 --> 00:27:57,467 early 20s. It's 481 00:27:57,467 --> 00:28:00,267 women as well as men, but 482 00:28:00,267 --> 00:28:03,068 women who have children. What it 483 00:28:03,068 --> 00:28:05,868 is doing to that environment, I 484 00:28:05,868 --> 00:28:08,669 think one of the most outrageous 485 00:28:08,669 --> 00:28:11,469 effects of methamphetamine is the total 486 00:28:11,469 --> 00:28:14,270 disregard that these addicts have for 487 00:28:14,270 --> 00:28:17,070 their families. When I would call. 488 00:28:17,140 --> 00:28:20,048 There, call it April's house. The kids 489 00:28:20,048 --> 00:28:22,956 were answering the phone. Ohh. Moms in 490 00:28:22,956 --> 00:28:25,864 the bedroom let me go get her. 491 00:28:25,864 --> 00:28:28,772 All I wanted to do was math. 492 00:28:28,772 --> 00:28:31,680 At first I didn't think she was 493 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,588 because I wasn't seeing the effects. I 494 00:28:34,588 --> 00:28:37,080 wasn't seeing the dramatic weight loss. 495 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,023 I had a very good job and 496 00:28:40,023 --> 00:28:42,765 then I picked up meth and it 497 00:28:42,765 --> 00:28:45,116 went downhill from there. I started 498 00:28:45,116 --> 00:28:47,859 dealing meth and found that it made 499 00:28:47,859 --> 00:28:50,210 a lot quicker money than working. 500 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,592 Nobody was working and there was money 501 00:28:53,592 --> 00:28:56,509 and I kept saying April it better not 502 00:28:56,509 --> 00:28:59,425 be what I think it is and it's 503 00:28:59,425 --> 00:29:02,342 no mom, no it's not going on. I 504 00:29:02,342 --> 00:29:04,894 had just separated from my ex-husband and 505 00:29:04,894 --> 00:29:07,811 I was down and thought that might bring 506 00:29:07,811 --> 00:29:08,540 me up. 507 00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:14,390 Yeah, brought me up for a while and then 508 00:29:14,390 --> 00:29:15,710 they came crashing down. 509 00:29:17,210 --> 00:29:19,139 Types of sounding children's toy, 510 00:29:19,139 --> 00:29:22,073 correct? Yeah. Was a 511 00:29:22,073 --> 00:29:24,273 substantial risk of death or serious 512 00:29:24,273 --> 00:29:26,840 bodily injury to your children? Yes Sir. 513 00:29:28,250 --> 00:29:30,442 Is convicted thereon of the offense of 514 00:29:30,442 --> 00:29:32,008 criminal endangerment of felony as 515 00:29:32,008 --> 00:29:34,200 alleged in Count 3 of the information. 516 00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:38,183 When I found out for sure that April 517 00:29:38,183 --> 00:29:41,116 and her boyfriend were using meth a lot, 518 00:29:41,116 --> 00:29:44,049 I became very, very angry with her. Every 519 00:29:44,049 --> 00:29:46,615 conversation was a fight. What the hell 520 00:29:46,615 --> 00:29:49,548 are you doing? If you choose to go 521 00:29:49,548 --> 00:29:52,481 do drugs then that will be your choice, 522 00:29:52,481 --> 00:29:55,413 but I will take your children away from 523 00:29:55,413 --> 00:29:58,378 you. For their safety. There was a 524 00:29:58,378 --> 00:30:01,292 stabbing at my house. He got stabbed 525 00:30:01,292 --> 00:30:04,207 in the face by men that had 526 00:30:04,207 --> 00:30:07,121 kicked in my front door over 14 527 00:30:07,121 --> 00:30:10,035 grams. And then two weeks later there 528 00:30:10,035 --> 00:30:12,949 was a a shooting. No, I don't 529 00:30:12,949 --> 00:30:15,864 belong in jail. Somebody said she was 530 00:30:15,864 --> 00:30:18,635 nothing. But a predator, I think anybody 531 00:30:18,635 --> 00:30:21,629 who has children, if they do not have 532 00:30:21,629 --> 00:30:23,874 that instinct to protect, then they 533 00:30:23,874 --> 00:30:26,868 shouldn't be a parent to begin with. And 534 00:30:26,868 --> 00:30:29,862 I don't care if they're four or if 535 00:30:29,862 --> 00:30:32,482 they're 40 when somebody calls your child 536 00:30:32,482 --> 00:30:35,480 a predator. It hurts. 537 00:30:36,910 --> 00:30:37,700 It hurts. 538 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,580 You have pretty good. You don't get none. 539 00:30:50,940 --> 00:30:51,640 You couldn't. 540 00:30:56,090 --> 00:30:58,585 I'd like to think we're pretty close knit 541 00:30:58,585 --> 00:31:00,769 pounding that crystal laced up nice too. 542 00:31:00,769 --> 00:31:02,640 You have to crack back nice. 543 00:31:03,860 --> 00:31:06,028 It tasted really dopey because that's 544 00:31:06,028 --> 00:31:08,918 really, that's all we have is each other. 545 00:31:08,918 --> 00:31:11,809 But it seems like we've all drifted way 546 00:31:11,809 --> 00:31:14,338 apart. I mean, my daughter doesn't want 547 00:31:14,338 --> 00:31:16,867 my granddaughter around me because of him 548 00:31:16,867 --> 00:31:19,757 and also because of his, you know, effect 549 00:31:19,757 --> 00:31:22,750 on me. With the match for me. 550 00:31:24,860 --> 00:31:27,061 My brother and my sister, they both got 551 00:31:27,061 --> 00:31:29,261 good lives and they both got good things 552 00:31:29,261 --> 00:31:31,737 going for him. And my dad did raise me 553 00:31:31,737 --> 00:31:33,938 good. He taught me right from wrong and 554 00:31:33,938 --> 00:31:36,413 he gave me the choices and I made the 555 00:31:36,413 --> 00:31:38,614 choices myself. And I, I made the wrong 556 00:31:38,614 --> 00:31:40,540 choices because I'm like Kim, like he 557 00:31:40,540 --> 00:31:41,640 made the wrong choices. 558 00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:50,589 This this is really killing my girlfriend 559 00:31:50,589 --> 00:31:52,702 right now. She really wants to try some 560 00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:55,642 of it. But I'm not gonna let 561 00:31:55,642 --> 00:31:58,380 her. One is because I'm stingy 562 00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:00,810 and two is because she's too good to do 563 00:32:00,810 --> 00:32:01,080 it. 564 00:32:04,850 --> 00:32:07,580 Just to see that cloud of smoke. 565 00:32:09,650 --> 00:32:11,880 I want to get high no no. 566 00:32:12,380 --> 00:32:15,110 No, no, no, 567 00:32:15,110 --> 00:32:16,020 don't. 568 00:32:18,330 --> 00:32:20,408 I'll pitch you off worse if I let you. 569 00:32:20,408 --> 00:32:21,100 No, you won't. 570 00:32:33,710 --> 00:32:35,350 Ice is the best when you're pregnant. 571 00:32:38,070 --> 00:32:41,008 I went through. Basically 572 00:32:41,008 --> 00:32:44,002 my whole life. So I really never 573 00:32:44,002 --> 00:32:46,996 was taught anything about drugs. I just 574 00:32:46,996 --> 00:32:49,990 knew that my mom was a user. 575 00:32:53,930 --> 00:32:56,790 The night I first got high, it was 576 00:32:56,790 --> 00:32:59,293 a conscious decision. I was going out 577 00:32:59,293 --> 00:33:01,080 that night to get high. 578 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,996 Me and my first kids dad broke up, 579 00:33:04,996 --> 00:33:07,831 I found out he was cheating on me 580 00:33:07,831 --> 00:33:10,667 and when I took my first hit of 581 00:33:10,667 --> 00:33:13,148 meth it was powerful. It made everything 582 00:33:13,148 --> 00:33:15,984 kind of go away, everything that I was 583 00:33:15,984 --> 00:33:18,465 thinking about. But that first high is 584 00:33:18,465 --> 00:33:21,301 the only really good high that you get. 585 00:33:21,301 --> 00:33:24,134 You never. Feel as good as you did 586 00:33:24,134 --> 00:33:26,686 the whole rest of the time you're using, 587 00:33:26,686 --> 00:33:28,919 you're just chasing that first high and 588 00:33:28,919 --> 00:33:31,470 when the people in your life are worried 589 00:33:31,470 --> 00:33:33,703 about you and you hear people talking 590 00:33:33,703 --> 00:33:35,936 about how upset your family or your 591 00:33:35,936 --> 00:33:37,850 friends are, they're the enemy because. 592 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,832 I looked at it like I wasn't 593 00:33:41,832 --> 00:33:44,224 hurting anybody, not even myself, because 594 00:33:44,224 --> 00:33:47,016 it seemed like anything that made me 595 00:33:47,016 --> 00:33:49,010 feel so good, you know? 596 00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:52,691 Couldn't hurt. I don't steal from people. 597 00:33:52,691 --> 00:33:55,683 I'm not scandalous. I sing. I'm talented, 598 00:33:55,683 --> 00:33:58,674 you know? And then when I'm on 599 00:33:58,674 --> 00:34:01,665 meth, it's not anything you think about 600 00:34:01,665 --> 00:34:04,657 at all, like how quickly you're going 601 00:34:04,657 --> 00:34:07,648 downhill. Within six or seven months, my 602 00:34:07,648 --> 00:34:08,930 electricity was off. 603 00:34:10,730 --> 00:34:13,393 My house was just filthy. I was 604 00:34:13,393 --> 00:34:15,676 neglecting my child because you just 605 00:34:15,676 --> 00:34:18,339 can't connect with your kids when you're 606 00:34:18,339 --> 00:34:21,131 high, you know?I have 607 00:34:21,131 --> 00:34:23,305 had two previous pregnancies and it was 608 00:34:23,305 --> 00:34:26,100 never a problem for me not to use and. 609 00:34:27,050 --> 00:34:29,020 It was just weird how this time. 610 00:34:29,770 --> 00:34:32,243 I didn't. It's like I couldn't control 611 00:34:32,243 --> 00:34:35,069 it. I wasn't thinking what would I do 612 00:34:35,069 --> 00:34:37,895 if this meth would blow up my baby's 613 00:34:37,895 --> 00:34:40,368 heart, You know? I wasn't thinking about 614 00:34:40,368 --> 00:34:43,194 how funked up it would be if my 615 00:34:43,194 --> 00:34:44,960 baby died inside of me. 616 00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:49,098 I would just, I worried about it and that 617 00:34:49,098 --> 00:34:51,955 just drove my that just drove me to get 618 00:34:51,955 --> 00:34:52,590 high more. 619 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:56,570 Because you don't want to think about it. 620 00:34:58,850 --> 00:35:00,853 And then what if I would have killed my 621 00:35:00,853 --> 00:35:03,763 baby, you know?To 622 00:35:03,763 --> 00:35:04,810 get high. 623 00:35:08,340 --> 00:35:11,318 I'm not. I mean, that's not me at 624 00:35:11,318 --> 00:35:11,690 all. 625 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:23,610 I'm thinking like. 626 00:35:26,570 --> 00:35:29,150 I just can't even believe I did it. 627 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:34,254 Can't believe I used meth at all my 628 00:35:34,254 --> 00:35:34,620 pregnancy. 629 00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:43,263 If you look at these 630 00:35:43,263 --> 00:35:45,897 are the ingredients iodine, charcoal, 631 00:35:45,897 --> 00:35:48,530 lighter, red devil lie, hydrogen 632 00:35:48,530 --> 00:35:51,163 peroxide, heat we pour in 633 00:35:51,163 --> 00:35:53,797 our gas tanks, drain or 634 00:35:53,797 --> 00:35:56,430 drain cleaner, the only ingredient. 635 00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:59,238 Here, that is not a deadly poison. It 636 00:35:59,238 --> 00:36:01,607 is the Sudafed, and people are shooting 637 00:36:01,607 --> 00:36:03,638 this stuff into their circulatory system 638 00:36:03,638 --> 00:36:06,565 and consequently into their brain. This 639 00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:09,174 was an exhibit in a trial. 640 00:36:09,174 --> 00:36:11,783 These were found in the trunk 641 00:36:11,783 --> 00:36:14,392 of his car and it included 642 00:36:14,392 --> 00:36:17,001 this butane stove and he could 643 00:36:17,001 --> 00:36:19,610 go out into the National Forest 644 00:36:19,610 --> 00:36:21,930 very isolated. And. 645 00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:24,927 Cook the meth there. And he's not the 646 00:36:24,927 --> 00:36:27,134 only one doing this. He's one that we 647 00:36:27,134 --> 00:36:27,410 caught. 648 00:36:47,620 --> 00:37:07,620 649 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,581 All Rise District Court is now in 650 00:37:24,581 --> 00:37:26,167 session, The Honorable Ted Limpus 651 00:37:26,167 --> 00:37:28,070 presiding. Thank you. Please be seated. 652 00:37:29,570 --> 00:37:32,345 It first matters on the calendar 653 00:37:32,345 --> 00:37:35,120 of the state of Montana. In 654 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,895 count 1, meth is a factor 655 00:37:37,895 --> 00:37:40,670 in 80% of the cases, either 656 00:37:40,670 --> 00:37:42,983 either in cases involving possession, 657 00:37:42,983 --> 00:37:45,758 manufacture or sale or distribution of 658 00:37:45,758 --> 00:37:48,533 meth, or cases involving behavior as 659 00:37:48,533 --> 00:37:50,910 a consequence of. Math. 660 00:37:52,380 --> 00:37:54,806 We first saw methamphetamine five years 661 00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:57,637 ago on a very, very minor scale. 662 00:37:57,637 --> 00:38:00,468 Within the last two years, we've seen 663 00:38:00,468 --> 00:38:03,298 a tidal wave of meth use hit 664 00:38:03,298 --> 00:38:06,129 here in Montana. Today, I would say 665 00:38:06,129 --> 00:38:08,959 80 to 85% of the people in 666 00:38:08,959 --> 00:38:11,386 the jail have some involvement with 667 00:38:11,386 --> 00:38:11,790 methamphetamine. 668 00:38:16,420 --> 00:38:18,698 Like the pod I'm in right now, you're 669 00:38:18,698 --> 00:38:20,407 looking forward to getting beat up, 670 00:38:20,407 --> 00:38:22,686 getting checked out to know if you're a 671 00:38:22,686 --> 00:38:24,964 snitch or not. You know they're going to 672 00:38:24,964 --> 00:38:26,673 be hitting when they're checking. So 673 00:38:26,673 --> 00:38:28,667 basically you're coming into a a whole 674 00:38:28,667 --> 00:38:30,660 different world when you come into the 675 00:38:30,660 --> 00:38:31,230 the jail. 676 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,374 No one here it's kind of like a jungle, 677 00:38:37,374 --> 00:38:39,164 you know? I mean, you know, if you're 678 00:38:39,164 --> 00:38:41,402 like a rat in a boom, you know hey, you 679 00:38:41,402 --> 00:38:43,192 could deal with them If you're talking to 680 00:38:43,192 --> 00:38:44,982 the cops knowing just give them names and 681 00:38:44,982 --> 00:38:46,773 ****. I'm boom. No, you hate you get 682 00:38:46,773 --> 00:38:48,339 dealt with. You know broken arms get 683 00:38:48,339 --> 00:38:50,129 through 8. You get thrown off like the 684 00:38:50,129 --> 00:38:51,696 top tiers and anything. You know the 685 00:38:51,696 --> 00:38:53,262 guards can't watch after you all the 686 00:38:53,262 --> 00:38:54,605 time. There's many people here they're 687 00:38:54,605 --> 00:38:57,369 going to make you. Do things that you 688 00:38:57,369 --> 00:39:00,270 don't want to do. They'll call you a fake 689 00:39:00,270 --> 00:39:02,525 it all the time. You could become 690 00:39:02,525 --> 00:39:04,137 homosexual. You can become somebody's 691 00:39:04,137 --> 00:39:06,715 batch. A batch is somebody that will get 692 00:39:06,715 --> 00:39:09,293 stripped down and they will rape you in 693 00:39:09,293 --> 00:39:12,191 jail. They will. They 694 00:39:12,191 --> 00:39:14,629 will do. They will rape you in jail. They 695 00:39:14,629 --> 00:39:16,526 will say you come here with money, 696 00:39:16,526 --> 00:39:18,422 they're gonna cook. And they like that. 697 00:39:18,422 --> 00:39:20,590 Asking to take your asss too. You know, 698 00:39:20,590 --> 00:39:22,757 like John Mccrae. He's not a very nice 699 00:39:22,757 --> 00:39:25,565 person, you know?You 700 00:39:25,565 --> 00:39:28,058 don't. You don't want to become 701 00:39:28,058 --> 00:39:29,720 somebody's ditch. You don't. 702 00:39:31,390 --> 00:39:32,520 It's no good. 703 00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:44,337 In Montana the women using meth is a big 704 00:39:44,337 --> 00:39:46,482 problem. Not that men isn't but they 705 00:39:46,482 --> 00:39:48,626 frequently will start out thinking it's a 706 00:39:48,626 --> 00:39:51,384 good way to lose weight. 2/3 of the women 707 00:39:51,384 --> 00:39:53,835 in our state prison are there for meth. 708 00:39:53,835 --> 00:39:55,673 All young females are looking for 709 00:39:55,673 --> 00:39:57,511 acceptance. They're looking in the wrong 710 00:39:57,511 --> 00:39:59,962 places here and once they get sucked into 711 00:39:59,962 --> 00:40:02,226 this culture it seems to be. Incredibly 712 00:40:02,226 --> 00:40:04,300 difficult to get away from it. 713 00:40:05,850 --> 00:40:08,513 I graduated high school with honors. I 714 00:40:08,513 --> 00:40:11,176 had a scholarship to USC, a sports 715 00:40:11,176 --> 00:40:13,459 scholarship. I chose drugs over that 716 00:40:13,459 --> 00:40:14,600 scholarship. A boyfriend. 717 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,152 And I lost so much of my life because of 718 00:40:19,152 --> 00:40:21,050 that. I'm a 16 time convicted felon. 719 00:40:22,070 --> 00:40:24,690 Before I started selling drugs, I would 720 00:40:24,690 --> 00:40:27,685 sell myself for drugs. I would you would 721 00:40:27,685 --> 00:40:30,679 do anything for the drug, sex, **** **** 722 00:40:30,679 --> 00:40:33,674 things like that. I didn't look at it 723 00:40:33,674 --> 00:40:36,294 as a prostitute because I never received 724 00:40:36,294 --> 00:40:38,540 money. I just received drugs so. 725 00:40:39,810 --> 00:40:41,602 Basically I was a prostitute for drugs 726 00:40:41,602 --> 00:40:44,366 instead of money. I was 727 00:40:44,366 --> 00:40:47,049 queen of a rodeo my senior year in high 728 00:40:47,049 --> 00:40:49,136 school. I didn't graduate high school. I 729 00:40:49,136 --> 00:40:51,222 was short credits to graduate because of 730 00:40:51,222 --> 00:40:53,607 my addiction. The crowd I was hanging out 731 00:40:53,607 --> 00:40:55,992 with, they were the older kids, you know, 732 00:40:55,992 --> 00:40:58,078 they were the seniors in high school. 733 00:40:58,078 --> 00:41:00,165 They were, you know, they were the 734 00:41:00,165 --> 00:41:02,848 popular kids. I wanted to fit in and they 735 00:41:02,848 --> 00:41:05,341 handed me a line. And they said, you 736 00:41:05,341 --> 00:41:07,496 know, it feels great, you'll never want 737 00:41:07,496 --> 00:41:10,481 to go back. And I never did, 738 00:41:10,481 --> 00:41:13,182 you know, I mean, you, you think you have 739 00:41:13,182 --> 00:41:15,883 all this time in the world, but you don't 740 00:41:15,883 --> 00:41:18,585 because then you end up here. And then if 741 00:41:18,585 --> 00:41:20,986 you're looking at time, the extent that I 742 00:41:20,986 --> 00:41:23,387 would go to masking my year analysis, I 743 00:41:23,387 --> 00:41:25,788 would drink bleach. I used to get high 744 00:41:25,788 --> 00:41:27,890 only on weekends. Come Friday, I would 745 00:41:27,890 --> 00:41:30,135 drink bleach go. Through my urinalysis 746 00:41:30,135 --> 00:41:33,055 for my probation officer and walk out of 747 00:41:33,055 --> 00:41:35,610 there smiling and ready to do another 748 00:41:35,610 --> 00:41:38,165 loaded rig, loaded needle full of dope. 749 00:41:38,165 --> 00:41:41,085 It's just the insanity of it. And you 750 00:41:41,085 --> 00:41:43,640 would think after filling that way that 751 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,560 you won't go back to it. That just 752 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:49,480 makes you want it even that much more. 753 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,049 Because then you kind of start liking the 754 00:41:52,049 --> 00:41:54,759 insanity of it and you find comfort in it 755 00:41:54,759 --> 00:41:56,565 because it's familiar territory for you. 756 00:41:56,565 --> 00:41:59,275 I was so spun and I sat for over 757 00:41:59,275 --> 00:42:01,985 a day on my butcher block in my kitchen 758 00:42:01,985 --> 00:42:04,695 with machete in one hand and knife in the 759 00:42:04,695 --> 00:42:06,200 other on my tip toes. 760 00:42:27,240 --> 00:42:30,186 The disease of methamphetamine use is 761 00:42:30,186 --> 00:42:32,150 addiction. That's the disease. 762 00:42:32,850 --> 00:42:34,494 The secondary manifestation of 763 00:42:34,494 --> 00:42:36,549 methamphetamine use. People can become 764 00:42:36,549 --> 00:42:38,193 Parkinsonian. Problems with movement, 765 00:42:38,193 --> 00:42:40,248 problems with facial expression, problems 766 00:42:40,248 --> 00:42:43,125 with tremor. Affects the math. Changed my 767 00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:45,591 whole speech and everything. I can't. 768 00:42:45,591 --> 00:42:48,468 It's gave me like a lisp kind 769 00:42:48,468 --> 00:42:51,345 of thing. Sort of. It's like, it's 770 00:42:51,345 --> 00:42:54,254 like it won't come out. As clear 771 00:42:54,254 --> 00:42:56,088 as it should. I don't know, it's 772 00:42:56,088 --> 00:42:57,660 chemicals or something did it. It's 773 00:42:57,660 --> 00:42:59,756 changed my whole body. It ruins you for 774 00:42:59,756 --> 00:43:01,590 good thing. Think of the talking thing 775 00:43:01,590 --> 00:43:03,424 that comes like because of your job 776 00:43:03,424 --> 00:43:06,360 doesn't your jaw. It messed 777 00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:08,040 me up. It's going to be long term 778 00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,300 effects. There's probably won't go away 779 00:43:09,300 --> 00:43:12,202 some of them. People who use the 780 00:43:12,202 --> 00:43:14,726 drug tend to continue to have negative 781 00:43:14,726 --> 00:43:17,250 effects even with two years of sobriety 782 00:43:17,250 --> 00:43:19,773 behind them. So let's just go through 783 00:43:19,773 --> 00:43:22,658 your mouth really quick. 7 is missing 23 784 00:43:22,658 --> 00:43:24,821 The destruction in her mouth is 785 00:43:24,821 --> 00:43:26,984 catastrophic. The enamel wears away and 786 00:43:26,984 --> 00:43:29,868 is eaten away by this acid of the 787 00:43:29,868 --> 00:43:31,949 bacteria and invariably. Every tooth is 788 00:43:31,949 --> 00:43:34,115 affected, there's very little we can do 789 00:43:34,115 --> 00:43:36,901 often and usually it means that we end up 790 00:43:36,901 --> 00:43:39,377 removing most of them and they end up 791 00:43:39,377 --> 00:43:41,853 with dentures at a very young age. 7 792 00:43:41,853 --> 00:43:44,019 years ago I started using really heavily. 793 00:43:44,019 --> 00:43:46,495 Math has eaten them from the outside and 794 00:43:46,495 --> 00:43:48,971 I will most likely lose all my teeth 795 00:43:48,971 --> 00:43:49,900 before I leave. 796 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,227 Came out great, we don't have to dig for 797 00:43:58,227 --> 00:43:59,990 any little root tips or anything so. 798 00:44:11,820 --> 00:44:14,503 Mess. It tears you down. It tears 799 00:44:14,503 --> 00:44:17,204 you down. Makes 800 00:44:17,204 --> 00:44:20,119 you so unhappy. You think it's making you 801 00:44:20,119 --> 00:44:22,670 happy, but it makes you so unhappy. 802 00:44:24,670 --> 00:44:25,230 That. 803 00:44:27,350 --> 00:44:30,011 Makes you so unhappy that the only time 804 00:44:30,011 --> 00:44:32,340 you're happy is when you're on it. 805 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,030 The come down is. 806 00:44:36,890 --> 00:44:39,064 It's horrible. The worst thing in the 807 00:44:39,064 --> 00:44:41,238 world is the worst depression you will 808 00:44:41,238 --> 00:44:44,033 ever have. All you want to do is just 809 00:44:44,033 --> 00:44:46,828 like slit your wrist. You just want it to 810 00:44:46,828 --> 00:44:47,760 stop. Just anything. 811 00:44:50,140 --> 00:44:52,278 Nothing to make you feel happy. There's 812 00:44:52,278 --> 00:44:54,722 no comfort anybody can give you. When I 813 00:44:54,722 --> 00:44:57,166 see Crystal shoot up, the the main thing 814 00:44:57,166 --> 00:44:59,915 that goes through my mind is what is she 815 00:44:59,915 --> 00:45:02,359 doing? She, she had such, you know, such 816 00:45:02,359 --> 00:45:04,803 a promising career in front of her. She 817 00:45:04,803 --> 00:45:07,246 did top placement in her classes and you 818 00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:09,690 know, all of her courses to be certified. 819 00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,806 The police officer and then she just 820 00:45:11,806 --> 00:45:14,436 ruined it for a bit of powder room. Right 821 00:45:14,436 --> 00:45:17,066 now is he has his whole life ahead of 822 00:45:17,066 --> 00:45:19,403 him, but I really don't think he's going 823 00:45:19,403 --> 00:45:22,033 to make it that far if he keeps doing 824 00:45:22,033 --> 00:45:24,079 what he's doing. He's dropped out of 825 00:45:24,079 --> 00:45:26,124 school, got in trouble with the police, 826 00:45:26,124 --> 00:45:27,878 pretty much revolves around getting high 827 00:45:27,878 --> 00:45:30,730 now. He 828 00:45:30,730 --> 00:45:32,693 never looks at you straight anymore. He's 829 00:45:32,693 --> 00:45:34,656 always moving around like his face and 830 00:45:34,656 --> 00:45:36,619 all. He's doing weird stuff. He's spun 831 00:45:36,619 --> 00:45:38,862 most of the time and I've really haven't 832 00:45:38,862 --> 00:45:40,825 seen him sober a whole lot. Graham's 833 00:45:40,825 --> 00:45:42,788 youth started with, even if you were 834 00:45:42,788 --> 00:45:44,750 charged first time with Johnny and his 835 00:45:44,750 --> 00:45:46,713 bedroom, you know, walked in on Johnny 836 00:45:46,713 --> 00:45:49,237 when he was smoking and and got high with 837 00:45:49,237 --> 00:45:51,480 him and pretty much took off from there. 838 00:45:52,060 --> 00:45:54,769 The next day he comes to me, says hook me 839 00:45:54,769 --> 00:45:57,208 up again, man. I said ohh, we got a 840 00:45:57,208 --> 00:45:59,646 little feed do we, you know. And I gave 841 00:45:59,646 --> 00:46:02,626 him a lot of hell and I made fun of him 842 00:46:02,626 --> 00:46:05,335 and called him a friend in a junkie and I 843 00:46:05,335 --> 00:46:07,503 made him feel like a real, real ******* 844 00:46:07,503 --> 00:46:09,670 actually. But I still hooked him up. One 845 00:46:09,670 --> 00:46:11,837 day some people got a hold of Johnny, 846 00:46:11,837 --> 00:46:13,833 told him that. That they banged Graham, 847 00:46:13,833 --> 00:46:16,246 they shot him up. I said you shot up 848 00:46:16,246 --> 00:46:18,392 Graham. Do you know how ******** old he 849 00:46:18,392 --> 00:46:21,177 is?And he's ohh yeah 850 00:46:21,177 --> 00:46:23,252 dude, I'm pretty sure that kids gonna be 851 00:46:23,252 --> 00:46:26,245 a junkie, man. Grandma was only 852 00:46:26,245 --> 00:46:28,990 15 at the time and you know he's already 853 00:46:28,990 --> 00:46:31,125 banging. And that's just the beginning of 854 00:46:31,125 --> 00:46:33,870 the end for anybody. Can you look at it? 855 00:46:35,580 --> 00:46:38,124 Look at it when it's happening. Ohh wait, 856 00:46:38,124 --> 00:46:40,350 can you tell me what you're feeling? 857 00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:43,910 Much better. 858 00:46:45,660 --> 00:46:48,139 I don't know. I'm like, I don't like to 859 00:46:48,139 --> 00:46:50,067 look at it. Everything's pretty much gone 860 00:46:50,067 --> 00:46:51,995 downhill from there. If he keeps doing 861 00:46:51,995 --> 00:46:54,198 this, he will be dead before he reaches 862 00:46:54,198 --> 00:46:56,401 30 just because of of how quickly it 863 00:46:56,401 --> 00:46:58,054 escalates and then how fast your 864 00:46:58,054 --> 00:46:58,880 tolerance builds up. 865 00:47:01,980 --> 00:47:04,550 I don't expect Graham to have the 866 00:47:04,550 --> 00:47:07,119 character to turn it around and figure 867 00:47:07,119 --> 00:47:10,056 his life out. I expect him to overdose 868 00:47:10,056 --> 00:47:10,790 on meth. 869 00:47:32,420 --> 00:47:35,240 And I don't want my kids to know this. 870 00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:37,434 This is the reason of my accident, 871 00:47:37,434 --> 00:47:40,255 because of the math. Yeah, I did try to 872 00:47:40,255 --> 00:47:42,762 commit suicide. Math had to do with the 873 00:47:42,762 --> 00:47:44,642 depression. And if I hadn't been 874 00:47:44,642 --> 00:47:46,836 depressed, I wouldn't have been out there 875 00:47:46,836 --> 00:47:49,656 driving like I was. And I would I I 876 00:47:49,656 --> 00:47:51,223 wouldn't have thought of committing 877 00:47:51,223 --> 00:47:54,111 suicide. And. I went as fast as I 878 00:47:54,111 --> 00:47:56,312 could. I was probably doing about 90. I 879 00:47:56,312 --> 00:47:59,063 just cranked it in the ditch as hard as I 880 00:47:59,063 --> 00:48:01,814 could and I had hit a tree. I knew at 881 00:48:01,814 --> 00:48:04,015 that point I couldn't move my legs, I 882 00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:06,967 mean. I knew right now 883 00:48:06,967 --> 00:48:08,090 I knew it. 884 00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:14,671 If I can help one child 885 00:48:14,671 --> 00:48:17,030 out of this, I will. 886 00:48:20,630 --> 00:48:22,100 I'm sorry. 887 00:48:25,370 --> 00:48:28,164 Just look at my own kids 888 00:48:28,164 --> 00:48:30,958 and my gosh, they ever tried 889 00:48:30,958 --> 00:48:32,820 it? I would ohh. 890 00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,908 Just I never want to see my children do 891 00:48:39,908 --> 00:48:42,390 this. A verb. 892 00:48:46,220 --> 00:48:48,847 And I don't care whose child it is, you 893 00:48:48,847 --> 00:48:50,890 know, if I can help one child. 894 00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:54,940 It would be all worth it. 895 00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:04,812 I probably wouldn't be clean from us 896 00:49:04,812 --> 00:49:07,021 today had the law not stepped in and 897 00:49:07,021 --> 00:49:09,505 forced me to go to treatment. I went into 898 00:49:09,505 --> 00:49:12,266 in and out of jail so many times and that 899 00:49:12,266 --> 00:49:13,370 never seemed to work. 900 00:49:15,340 --> 00:49:17,410 It took me going to an inpatient 901 00:49:17,410 --> 00:49:19,776 treatment center and I'm on my second or 902 00:49:19,776 --> 00:49:21,254 third outpatient treatment center right 903 00:49:21,254 --> 00:49:23,660 now. Please. 904 00:49:25,250 --> 00:49:27,280 Quarters and session you may be seated. 905 00:49:29,710 --> 00:49:32,357 This is TC05-6 reactive, been a part 906 00:49:32,357 --> 00:49:34,626 of the treatment court programs for 907 00:49:34,626 --> 00:49:37,273 little over a year now. It's an 908 00:49:37,273 --> 00:49:39,919 18 month program. How are you doing? 909 00:49:39,919 --> 00:49:42,566 And it's been difficult, but it gave 910 00:49:42,566 --> 00:49:45,213 me a life that I once had. 911 00:49:45,213 --> 00:49:47,860 What would be your alternative you've got? 912 00:49:47,950 --> 00:49:50,628 Four or five felonies on my record right 913 00:49:50,628 --> 00:49:53,305 now, so that's where I would have gone. 914 00:49:53,305 --> 00:49:55,983 What is a very critical component to the 915 00:49:55,983 --> 00:49:57,991 program is the relationship that the 916 00:49:57,991 --> 00:49:59,999 judge has with the participants because 917 00:49:59,999 --> 00:50:02,007 this is all about accountability and 918 00:50:02,007 --> 00:50:04,015 responsibility. So what happened to your 919 00:50:04,015 --> 00:50:06,884 job?Because I went 920 00:50:06,884 --> 00:50:09,880 to jail. For what 921 00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:12,852 other reason? For drinking?There's 922 00:50:12,852 --> 00:50:15,735 been lots of consequences because of that 923 00:50:15,735 --> 00:50:16,970 decision as the. 924 00:50:19,380 --> 00:50:21,839 So what are you doing? Looking for 925 00:50:21,839 --> 00:50:24,650 another job? You have to have a job. 926 00:50:25,860 --> 00:50:27,841 Would just be sitting around. I 927 00:50:27,841 --> 00:50:30,152 understand that. I became a judge in 928 00:50:30,152 --> 00:50:32,463 1997. Before then, I was the prosecutor 929 00:50:32,463 --> 00:50:35,435 in this county for 14 years. I wasn't in 930 00:50:35,435 --> 00:50:38,076 favor of this program in the beginning. I 931 00:50:38,076 --> 00:50:40,717 thought this is one of those touchy feely 932 00:50:40,717 --> 00:50:43,029 kinds of programs. I have the opportunity 933 00:50:43,029 --> 00:50:45,670 to see these people weekly or every other 934 00:50:45,670 --> 00:50:47,990 week. To go through their whole recovery 935 00:50:47,990 --> 00:50:50,496 program with them and I'm going to let 936 00:50:50,496 --> 00:50:52,689 you go to work. It's the accountability, 937 00:50:52,689 --> 00:50:55,195 them having to come here and confront me 938 00:50:55,195 --> 00:50:57,388 not only about the good things that 939 00:50:57,388 --> 00:50:59,581 they've done, but about the bad decisions 940 00:50:59,581 --> 00:51:01,460 that they've made and to accept 941 00:51:01,460 --> 00:51:04,379 responsibility for that. When there's a 942 00:51:04,379 --> 00:51:05,712 violation, there's an immediate 943 00:51:05,712 --> 00:51:07,710 consequence. I understand we have a 944 00:51:07,710 --> 00:51:09,709 problem here this morning. We recognize 945 00:51:09,709 --> 00:51:12,374 that a person who is in recovery probably 946 00:51:12,374 --> 00:51:15,039 will relapse what he used and he lied. 947 00:51:15,039 --> 00:51:17,037 There's no hearing, there's no delay. 948 00:51:17,037 --> 00:51:18,703 There's an immediate consequence. So 949 00:51:18,703 --> 00:51:21,368 you're going, I'm going to send you to 950 00:51:21,368 --> 00:51:24,301 jail for 24 hours. And you could 951 00:51:24,301 --> 00:51:26,571 be sitting over there for 18 months if 952 00:51:26,571 --> 00:51:27,990 you don't get through this. 953 00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:34,188 And there's also rewards when they're 954 00:51:34,188 --> 00:51:36,599 doing well. You have been in this program 955 00:51:36,599 --> 00:51:39,010 six months sober, but look at what you've 956 00:51:39,010 --> 00:51:41,723 done. You can just list them all off. You 957 00:51:41,723 --> 00:51:44,435 have a place of your own to live. You 958 00:51:44,435 --> 00:51:46,846 have a good job, a steady job. You're 959 00:51:46,846 --> 00:51:47,750 much less fidgety. 960 00:51:50,070 --> 00:51:52,797 We compliment them, we praise them, we 961 00:51:52,797 --> 00:51:55,524 applaud them. What does the blue chip 962 00:51:55,524 --> 00:51:58,251 symbolize? I see the blue skies ahead, 963 00:51:58,251 --> 00:52:00,978 but I'm still going to have blue 964 00:52:00,978 --> 00:52:03,705 days. Six months of sobriety. Well, I'm 965 00:52:03,705 --> 00:52:06,043 very grateful that you're here this 966 00:52:06,043 --> 00:52:08,380 morning. So here's the ear chip. 967 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:28,670 968 00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,371 1st we sat Graham U took Graham to his 969 00:52:41,371 --> 00:52:43,444 little dinner and had the cops arrest him 970 00:52:43,444 --> 00:52:45,516 at our dinner table. Yeah, well you know 971 00:52:45,516 --> 00:52:48,289 you had to get him safe. So then 972 00:52:48,289 --> 00:52:50,367 Graham got to get out of jail free 973 00:52:50,367 --> 00:52:52,445 because ohh yeah, they ran out of space. 974 00:52:52,445 --> 00:52:55,303 So the effort it took me to get him to a 975 00:52:55,303 --> 00:52:57,381 safe spot, I got called how many days 976 00:52:57,381 --> 00:53:00,213 later, Graham?Because they were 977 00:53:00,213 --> 00:53:02,983 crowded. So 978 00:53:02,983 --> 00:53:04,400 that's the help you get. 979 00:53:12,370 --> 00:53:15,098 He's been stuck to me for 24/7 for 980 00:53:15,098 --> 00:53:18,055 the last. Six weeks. He goes to 981 00:53:18,055 --> 00:53:20,240 work with me in the morning, goes to 982 00:53:20,240 --> 00:53:22,698 lunch with me, we tuck him in, we give 983 00:53:22,698 --> 00:53:24,882 him a sleepy time tea. And I've been 984 00:53:24,882 --> 00:53:26,794 doing a lot of counseling and probation 985 00:53:26,794 --> 00:53:29,365 and then. A lot 986 00:53:29,365 --> 00:53:31,960 of stuff. So this is all 987 00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,123 overwhelming. I haven't talked to 988 00:53:34,123 --> 00:53:36,718 anybody. I don't associate with anyone 989 00:53:36,718 --> 00:53:39,480 anymore. And it just 990 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,308 hasn't come up. You take a kid that's 991 00:53:42,308 --> 00:53:44,783 a straight, A student that can't even 992 00:53:44,783 --> 00:53:46,550 stay in a classroom now. 993 00:53:47,410 --> 00:53:49,905 Um, that is more 994 00:53:49,905 --> 00:53:52,400 interested on numbing himself. 995 00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:56,175 Then living life. Has 996 00:53:56,175 --> 00:53:59,152 some kind of preconceived notion in his 997 00:53:59,152 --> 00:54:02,128 brain that it's a lot easier to 998 00:54:02,128 --> 00:54:05,105 go that route versus reality. I mean, 999 00:54:05,105 --> 00:54:08,081 he is, he doesn't mean to be. 1000 00:54:08,081 --> 00:54:11,058 It's not him, but he's become deceitful. 1001 00:54:11,058 --> 00:54:14,034 He lies about the tiniest little things. 1002 00:54:14,034 --> 00:54:16,952 I it's, I don't know. I 1003 00:54:16,952 --> 00:54:19,450 don't know. You said that you only used 1004 00:54:19,450 --> 00:54:21,947 it four times. That's what you said. So 1005 00:54:21,947 --> 00:54:24,445 what does that mean? That you don't use 1006 00:54:24,445 --> 00:54:27,255 it as much? You use it. You don't use 1007 00:54:27,255 --> 00:54:30,065 it. I don't use it anymore at all. You 1008 00:54:30,065 --> 00:54:32,875 don't use it anymore at all? No, but I 1009 00:54:32,875 --> 00:54:35,060 did do it more than four times. 1010 00:54:39,610 --> 00:54:41,780 And so you haven't used meth for how long? 1011 00:54:43,090 --> 00:54:44,290 Couple months I guess. 1012 00:54:46,050 --> 00:54:48,816 How do you do that? How do you give up? 1013 00:54:48,816 --> 00:54:51,028 From what I hear, one of the most 1014 00:54:51,028 --> 00:54:52,964 addictive things on this planet. How do 1015 00:54:52,964 --> 00:54:55,454 you how do you give that up? Not as 1016 00:54:55,454 --> 00:54:56,560 manipulative as you think. 1017 00:54:58,260 --> 00:54:58,770 No. 1018 00:55:02,240 --> 00:55:04,994 I have my doubts. How could I not? How do 1019 00:55:04,994 --> 00:55:07,198 you just use something and then just give 1020 00:55:07,198 --> 00:55:08,850 it up? Something that's that powerful, 1021 00:55:08,850 --> 00:55:11,054 something that made him do things that he 1022 00:55:11,054 --> 00:55:13,799 would never do?So I don't 1023 00:55:13,799 --> 00:55:14,850 know is that possible? 1024 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,055 I mean, what are we left with? I mean, I 1025 00:55:21,055 --> 00:55:23,338 don't have the tools it takes. I don't 1026 00:55:23,338 --> 00:55:24,480 have what it takes. 1027 00:55:26,210 --> 00:55:29,144 I you know help. There 1028 00:55:29,144 --> 00:55:30,920 will come a time where I'm tired. 1029 00:55:32,260 --> 00:55:34,623 And when you turn 18, you'll look at me, 1030 00:55:34,623 --> 00:55:36,723 and if he's still doing this, he'll say, 1031 00:55:36,723 --> 00:55:39,348 you know, I'm 18, I'm going to do what I 1032 00:55:39,348 --> 00:55:41,710 want. And then what? Then what do I have? 1033 00:55:42,490 --> 00:55:44,703 So I have a little bit more time. If I 1034 00:55:44,703 --> 00:55:46,695 have to play the gel or 24/7, that's what 1035 00:55:46,695 --> 00:55:47,580 I'm going to do. 1036 00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:53,990 How does it all end? 1037 00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:06,380 Yeah, I don't know. You tell 1038 00:56:06,380 --> 00:56:07,730 me, how does it all end? 1039 00:56:21,490 --> 00:56:24,245 My my body is nothing compared to 1040 00:56:24,245 --> 00:56:27,073 what it was before. For 1041 00:56:27,073 --> 00:56:29,253 instance, my thermostat in my body I can 1042 00:56:29,253 --> 00:56:30,070 I'm never warm. 1043 00:56:32,290 --> 00:56:34,318 I, I just, I can't get really close to 1044 00:56:34,318 --> 00:56:35,895 people because I know people are capable 1045 00:56:35,895 --> 00:56:38,617 of. I know what I was capable 1046 00:56:38,617 --> 00:56:41,585 of. The 1047 00:56:41,585 --> 00:56:43,234 most consistent thing I've heard about 1048 00:56:43,234 --> 00:56:45,433 meth is that meth is the devil. That's 1049 00:56:45,433 --> 00:56:47,083 the most consistent thing I've heard 1050 00:56:47,083 --> 00:56:49,007 about every person. Even the people that 1051 00:56:49,007 --> 00:56:51,206 are still using that will tell you meths 1052 00:56:51,206 --> 00:56:53,405 the devil and then they'll do it anyways. 1053 00:56:53,405 --> 00:56:53,680 But. 1054 00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,688 I guess I'm just in such a disbelief. 1055 00:57:06,688 --> 00:57:09,575 It's so hard to even project how you 1056 00:57:09,575 --> 00:57:12,102 feel with such a devastating thing. I 1057 00:57:12,102 --> 00:57:14,629 don't know. It's horrible. Yeah. How do 1058 00:57:14,629 --> 00:57:15,800 you. How do you? 1059 00:57:17,780 --> 00:57:19,862 Tell people how crappy it is. You can't 1060 00:57:19,862 --> 00:57:21,424 tell people it's you just don't 1061 00:57:21,424 --> 00:57:23,246 understand. You just got to finally take 1062 00:57:23,246 --> 00:57:25,068 somebody's word for it that it's ******. 1063 00:57:25,068 --> 00:57:27,411 It's going to buck up your life, so why 1064 00:57:27,411 --> 00:57:29,754 even try it in the first place? But I 1065 00:57:29,754 --> 00:57:31,836 think about that now. I'd shoot myself in 1066 00:57:31,836 --> 00:57:33,919 the head before I ever touched that **** 1067 00:57:33,919 --> 00:57:34,960 again in my life. 1068 00:57:54,930 --> 00:58:14,930 1069 00:58:15,090 --> 00:58:35,090 1070 00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:55,250 1071 00:58:55,410 --> 00:59:15,410 1072 00:59:15,640 --> 00:59:33,500